Dear Nickelson Ryan,
It’s time for another monthly update. I honestly cannot wrap my head around the fact that you will be turning one in two months. I know I need to start making plans for your birthday but I get teary every time I allow my mind to wander into one-year-old-Nico territory. So for now, let’s celebrate one milestone at a time.
I’m writing this on a Saturday, a few days ahead of your month-day since we have a busy week ahead. Saturday mornings with you are my favorite. You wake up at your usual time, between 6:30 and 7:00, but after a diaper change and a few minutes of playtime, Daddy and I are usually able to convince you that it’s time to go back to sleep. We all settle into your “first nap” of the day and often can sleep until 9:00. Once you begin to stir again, we are joined by your siblings, who know not to interrupt Saturday morning sleep-ins until we’re ready. They make a bee-line for you, smothering you with kisses and hugs and “heeeeey, Buddy Bud”s. I say it all the time, but you are so ridiculously blessed to have three big siblings who adore you. And they are so blessed to have you as a baby brother. You teach them kindness and patience and stretch out their childlike wonder (because it may not be cool for 5- and 10-year-olds to sing nursery songs for themselves, but they love doing it with you and secretly have fun doing it). I sometimes imagine an alternate version of our family story in which you never entered the picture, and just thinking about how our lives might have played out makes me devastatingly sad for that hypothetical incomplete family, and overcome with gratitude for this true version of us as a family of six.
It was a really big month for you that included your first long-distance road trip and your first time traveling out of state. I was a little nervous about traveling almost 3,000 miles in the truck, but you were a great traveler; you slept for a lot of the drive and were (mostly) appeased with Baby Mum-Mums and rattles when you woke up fussy. The hardest part of the road was getting you to nurse and/or eat at our stops since you were just so eager to be out of your carseat and distracted by all your new surroundings. The nights in hotels were also a little tough since you’d slept the day away and weren’t tired at night. We managed, though, and had a wonderful trip. You got to meet some new family members (both living great-grandparents, Uncle Austin and Tía Yessi, and my Uncle Bob and Aunt Sharon) as well as plenty of new people when we went to family camp, where you even spent two mornings in childcare (they said you did great!). You were a trooper with the lack of routine, napping on the go and adapting to meal times that looked different than at home. You love being outdoors and were so happy being worn as we hiked mountains and strolled the beach and visited parks. You got to explore a whole new set of toys at Oma and Opa’s, and you were in that sweet spot where you could sit and be entertained with toys but couldn’t move from your designated spot.
The timing of our vacation couldn’t have been better because your stationary status changed just days after we got home when you started crawling! It began with some turning and scooching on your belly and has now evolved into a full army crawl, with you pushing with your feet (or sometimes just one foot) and maneuvering forward on your elbows. All four of you have had different army-crawling styles, and they are all adorable. Now that you’re on the move, you want to explore the whole house. You are especially interested in Arlo, his toys, and his crate, as well as anything that resembles a wire or cord (how is it that babies always gravitate towards what they are not supposed to have?!). You also are enticed by your toys, particularly the Fisher Price carwash that your siblings enjoy playing with you. When we need to keep you in one spot, you are usually content in your playpen or bassinet with some rattles and your plastic egg baby toy, but you have been known to attempt to crawl out of the bassinet and face plant, so I have to keep an eye on you in there. You aren’t able to maneuver from tummy to sitting, but you can get to your knees and have pulled to standing a couple of times.
Other fun new milestones this month have been learning to “motorboat” with your mouth; patting your mouth with an open hand to modulate your sound; and some evolved babbling that involves moving your tongue in and out of your mouth to make a sort of yodel. All of your babbling is getting more distinct, and I’m pretty sure you say Mama intentionally; I’m not quite ready to make it your official first word yet, though it would be an honor and I do sense your attachment to me. I love how your face lights up whenever you see me, but we’re definitely in that tough spot where you always want to be held by Mom while ALSO wanting to be on the floor exploring, and you don’t know how to do both. There is a lot of back-and-forth between the floor and the baby carrier these days—a metaphor for your whole childhood, I suppose: heading off to spread your wings while knowing Mom is waiting with open arms to offer nurturing and consolation and limitless love.
We see more of your personality each month, and it continues to shock me that my “challenging” baby has such a happy side. You’re not happy all the time now, of course, but you are far more chill than I imagined you’d be by this age. You really love to laugh and smile, and clapping is one of your favorite things: as soon as we smile and say “yay,” those hands start going together. Last week we attended an awards ceremony for Trail Life. You were SO tired and trying to nurse to sleep, but every time the audience would cheer you’d sit up and groggily begin clapping. You seem to like making us laugh, and often make faces or blow raspberries or “hit” your head teasingly, then look around to see whose attention you’ve grabbed. You’re quite popular with strangers and always have a smile to share.
We’re still concerned about your size. At your 9-month doctor’s appointment, your pediatrician referred us to an endocrinologist to find out why you’re gaining weight but not height. There were no red flags at your preliminary appointment (though we’re still waiting on lab results to see if anything turns up) and the endocrinologist thinks your short stature may just be genetic. Your siblings are all very short as well, but have always followed their growth curves, whereas you started out bigger and have taken a dip. Thankfully the experts don’t seem too concerned, so I am doing my best to trust God with all things about your future INCLUDING the fact that you are—and may remain— “fun size.” And speaking of SIZE, we donated a lot of your outgrown baby gear this month including your Bumbo, a baby seat and bassinets, some swaddles and clothes. Long before I had kids of my own, I heard the first-time mom of a 6-month-old marveling at how many newborn items her child had already outgrown; I was astounded to a hear that a child who hadn’t even reached his first birthday could have aged out of so many items, but now that I have some experience of my own, I see how babies really don’t keep and the shelf life of many baby items can be measured in days rather than years.
No monthly update would be complete without a check-in on all things sleeping and eating, and both are going well. It’s hard to have a predictable naptime schedule since we’re always on the go, but you usually get a short mid-morning nap (either in the car, or while I wear you on the treadmill at the gym) and a two-hour nap in the afternoons in bed with me. You go down around 7:30 in your swing at night, join us in bed after your first wake-up (usually 11:30, sometimes earlier), and sleep until 6:30 in the morning. I’m sure there are plenty of wake-ups through the night, but you are able to navigate yourself to the breast and nurse back to sleep, so I rarely have to get up with you. As for eating, you love food, especially when it’s spoon-fed to you. As soon as you are set in your high chair, you open your mouth anticipating that first bite. (Your siblings think it’s hilarious to taunt you with an empty spoon, and you love this game of pretend-eating their proffered food.) You have a preference for sweet purées (applesauce or mashed bananas), but also like rice cereal and mashed veggies and plain yogurt. The only food you really don’t care for is puréed beef and I can’t say I blame you. (I only added it to your diet since bloodwork revealed mild anemia and you aren’t ready for meat in other forms.) You’ve mastered a pincher grasp and are able to feed yourself, and you like corn and pickles (sucked on whole!) and especially Baby Mum-Mums, but a lot of the food we place on the tray ends up on the floor rather than in your mouth.
Per usual, I’m writing this with you nursing on the pillow in my lap. You’re awake, but seem to know that when Mom sits down with her computer, it’s time for milkies, so you’ve found your way from your toys to my lap. I’m so glad we’ve been able to continue on our nursing journey. You’re playful at the breast, stopping to explore my chest and my face with your hands, to look up at me and smile. I’ve taught you to move your face towards mine when I say “kiss,” and our nursing time involves lots of chatting and kissing and snuggles. Thanks for joining me, Little Man, today and always.
Love Always and Forever,
Your Mama
LIKES: crawling around and exploring, your Fisher Price carwash, Baby Mum-Mums, pickles, applesauce (and most spoon-fed food), rattles and other toys you can hold and suck on, grabbing at EVERYTHING but especially people’s faces (facial hair and glasses don’t stand a chance against your inquisitive hands)
DISLIKES: getting into your carseat, being put down when you’re tired, pureeed beef (or any baby food with meat in it)
LENGTH (2 weeks ago): 25.5 inches (<1st percentile)
WEIGHT (2 weeks ago): 16 pounds 2 ounces (3rd percentile)
BMI (2 weeks ago): 17.47 (60th percentile)
CLOTHING SIZE: 3-6 Months(ish)
DIAPER SIZE: Honest Size 3
EYE COLOR: hazel
HAIR STATUS: Shockingly light given how dark it was at birth. It’s no longer quite as sparse—you’ve stopped losing hair and started growing some and your bald spot is filling in nicely—and the hair that’s coming in is thicker and curly like your brothers’ hair.
TOOTH COUNT: zero
NEW MILESTONES: army crawling, “motorboat” mouth, babbling with tongue, using fingers to pick up food, pulling to standing
OTHER NOTABLE MOMENTS: your first trip out of state (to California), first time meeting many family members, passing on a lot of your baby gear
