In his letter to the Ephesians, the apostle Paul admonished the church of new believers to “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). The advice remains just as sound for us Christians living in the 21st century as it was for those brand new followers of Christ more than two thousand years ago.
In teaching on this passage last month, our pastor described a simple framework for what it might look like to live wisely within our present culture: Pastor Josh explained that when faced with a decision of how to approach a certain aspect of culture—whether that’s a new technology, a holiday, a movie, or a tradition—he asks whether this is something he can wholeheartedly RECEIVE, something he must unapologetically REJECT, or something in the middle that he can REDEEM through slight modifications.
This is a fantastic framework that I’ve been thinking about and applying constantly since it was introduced to me. It’s been helping me make decisions about the movies and shows our kids watch, the music we listen to, and the routines we see other families embracing. Is it good and beautiful and true? We RECEIVE it into our home. Is it unhelpful, unattractive, or reflective of Satan and his lies? We can REJECT it in good conscience, knowing that we are not instinctively passing something off as bad, but that it has undergone evaluation and genuinely doesn’t pass muster as the type of content or habit we want in our home.
The REDEEM category can be a little trickier to apply: what we choose to redeem, another Christian might choose to reject in good conscience. Pastor Josh gave the example of Halloween here: his family (like ours) has chosen to say no to the demonic aspects of Halloween while also embracing the lighthearted parts of the holiday, which they see as an opportunity to connect with neighbors and bring godly hospitality into their community. Other Christians choose to reject Halloween altogether. Neither answer is right or wrong, and both align with Paul’s advice to live wisely and make the most of every opportunity.
In thinking further about the Receive/Reject/Redeem framework, I’ve started to find other opportunities to put it into practice. The first is my thought life: when a new thought pops into my mind, I can pass it through the framework. Is this thought helpful, good, and true? I will receive it into my thought life and embrace what this new idea has to teach me. (Keeping in mind that not every thought that feels good and helpful actually is, nor does a difficult thought—such as a conviction—always feel good at the time, even though it is ultimately beneficial.) Is a thought untrue or will it lead to sin or destruction? I can let the thought go and pray for God to clear my mind of this unhealthy thought pattern. Finally, if a thought is not an automatic Receive or Reject, it might be one that I can Redeem: are there nuggets of truth in this new concept that I can hold onto while letting go of the rest?
Let’s move from the hypothetical to the practical here. (This scenario may or may not be was definitely lifted from my thought life this very afternoon.) If I’m having a hard day with the kids, I might be inundated with thoughts that I am not a good mom. That thought is not altogether helpful or true, so it’s not one I will receive without qualification. However, it IS true that there are things I could be doing differently to be a better mom to my kids in that moment. A redemptive twist on the thought of “I am not a good mom” might be “I am not having a great mothering moment. This does not make me a ‘bad mom,’ BUT with God’s help I could be doing better to show His love to my kids; I will pray for God’s strength to exemplify the fruits of the spirit as I’m with my children today.”
The Receive/Reject/Redeem framework also fits well when evaluating current practices, routines, or even possessions. I am a woman of consistency and habits; change is difficult for me, I struggle to let things go, and I have to continually remind myself that just because I’ve always done something a certain way doesn’t mean that I need to stick with it indefinitely. This is especially true in a home with four children whose needs and interests are constantly evolving. So, when thinking about a specific routine (such as bedtime rhythms) or tradition (like decorating gingerbread houses at Christmas) or household item, I can ask: is this something worth Receiving (keeping around) because it still serves the needs of me or my family? (You watched me process my decision to “Receive” [stick with] my current writing routine just a few weeks ago.) Perhaps the practice I’m examining is something it’s time to Reject because it is no longer beneficial or practical for our current life stage. (We recently had to let go of attempts at Nico’s morning nap because he consistently boycotted it, and the constant tries simply led to frustration.) And finally, if this is not a habit or practice that we have Received or Rejected, is it one that needs to be Redeemed—something we keep, but adjust? (One example of this was our recent decision to slow down the pace of Charleston’s math lessons; we love the curriculum, but it was taking too much time out of our school day, so we chose to stick with the curriculum but cut down on the number of lessons we get through each week.)
I’m sure there will be many more areas where the Receive/Reject/Redeem framework will come into play, and I am grateful for this new way of examining my ideas, routines, possessions, and aspects of the world around me as I pursue a life that is worthy of my Creator’s calling. Have you heard of this framework before? How has it benefitted you? Please share your thoughts and insights, I would love to hear them!
