Last week Charleston let me know that he was done with winter. In fact, he said, he really never wants anything to do with winter once his birthday is over. His birthday is on January 16th, so that leaves quite a long remaining stretch of winter to be endured.

I have to admit that I relate to Charleston’s sentiment: I’ve usually had my fill of winter by the time the Christmas decorations are packed away. In other words, all but about five days of the season are dead to me. Charleston comes by his winter-aversion honestly.

The post-holiday season is always tough, especially once the shiny newness of January begins to tarnish. Cold weather is not my favorite, and while the brown grass and barren trees have a stark beauty to them, by this point in the season I’m longing for blossoming branches and fields of green. This year’s winter doldrums were compounded by the inevitable round of family colds and my already-depleted state as I continue struggling to adjust to the four-kid life. My world right now just feels hard. Not in an I’m-never-going-to-survive-this kind of way, but I would hardly say that I’m thriving.

It’s helpful to remember that I’ve been here before. It’s also helpful to reflect on the things that are doing the heavy work of keeping me afloat in a tough season. Enter this annual practice of noting what is saving my life at the midpoint of winter. For several years now I’ve followed Anne Bogel’s lead in recognizing the big and small life-savers of this season. Many have become perennial game-changers, like digital journaling and family reading time and the space heater that follows me from outlet to outlet this time of year. Others are just for a time. This year’s list is made up of things that are seeing me through this postpartum season, though there are correlating takeaways that I’ll be carrying with me for years to come.

GETTING BACK TO WRITING MORE CONSISTENTLY.

I missed my regular blogging rhythms over the last several months. The break and slower pace were necessary, but it’s good to be settling back into a writing routine. A part of me was reluctant to return to writing biweekly, at least right now: life is still chaotic and on paper it doesn’t seem like I have the time or bandwidth to be adding a nonessential item to my too-full plate. But keeping up with this space is more than a simple hobby for me; it’s a creative outlet that I can put my name to in this season of life when most of my work—while important and life-giving—is monotonous and unseen. Writing consistently and publicly helps me live with intentionality and awareness to what God’s up to because I’m always seeking out content ideas, and I find I manage my time and energy more efficiently in order to make space for this practice I love. I’m still feeling a little rusty since the break, and I am eager for my creative juices to start flowing like they once did, but I’d rather be floundering through blog posts than not blogging at all because I know I am a better mom and a more faithful follower of Christ when I’m writing here regularly.

OUR MAKESHIFT “NURSERY.”

We don’t have a separate nursery for Nico because we don’t have the space. The question of how we will manage the too-few-bedrooms situation when Nico gets older remains unanswered, but for now he’s in our master bedroom along with all his essentials, including a bassinet (though it’s currently going unused), diaper pail, glider, and the twins’ old changing table/dresser (which holds all of Nico’s clothes). Much to my surprise and delight, this has gone from being Option B to something I wish we’d done with all our other kids too: we ended up cosleeping with all of them anyways, and it would have been helpful to have the rest of their gear in our room as well, instead of schlepping babies up and down the hallways for diaper changes or to nurse in the glider. I love when something that seems like a lesser plan proves to be the best plan of all.

ASSIGNING MY KIDS MORE RESPONSIBILITIES.

Having Nico has forced me to require more from my other three kids, simply because I no longer have the time (or hands) to do as much for them as I used to. Rather than feel guilty about this, I’m choosing to see it as an opportunity to expand their independence. Teaching them new skills (like hanging up their jackets and organizing their craft supplies) has required some effort from me up front, as well as a relinquishing of my personal standards for a job well done. But I’m starting to see the fruits of my effort as they take over jobs that once were mine (often without being asked!) and gain agency over the work of our household.

REUNITING WITH “MY” BIBLE.

I read through the Catholic Bible in 2023, and though I gained a lot from that experience, I missed being in my usual Bible that is in a more familiar translation and has all of my highlights and notes from the past several years. I’m back to reading through the protestant Bible (along with Bible Recap) this year, and I didn’t realize how much I had missed the comfort of my Bible until it once again was part of my morning Quiet Time with God.

OUR BABY CARRIERS.

We did quite a bit of baby wearing with Charleston and even the twins, and our baby carriers were pretty convenient, especially when going out. But with Nico, our carriers have gone from nice-to-have to ESSENTIAL If you read my last Nico update, you know that he’s entered a phase when he refuses to be set down, even in his once-beloved swing. Unless we want him to cry uncontrollably (we don’t), we need to hold or wear him all day long. Luke has a baby carrier as well and is often able to wear Nico while he works to give me a break, but I have become an expert at doing just about everything with Nico strapped to me, from folding laundry and making dinner to doing dishes and playing with the big kids. I know that baby wearing is a newer phenomena (in the western world, at least) and I have NO IDEA how parents of needier babies managed without it!

ACCEPTANCE, NOT RESENTMENT.

These days I’m holding, nursing, or wearing Nico for up to twenty hours per day (basically ALL the time, including through the night, except when we’re in the car, Luke has taken him for a bit, or during the first few hours of the night if I’m able to get him to sleep in his swing). I’m exhausted and my body is sore. It would be easy to feel resentful, and sometimes I do. But I find I’m so much happier when I stop wishing Nico would let me set him down and simply accept that he needs me to hold him. When Nico entered this needier stage I was constantly wondering when I could try to set him down and what would make him happy outside of being with me. It’s actually been freeing to let go of any expectation that he might be okay without me; now I’m channeling my energy into figuring out how I can hold him while doing xyz task instead of trying to get out of holding him for a bit. Helping with this acceptance piece are consistent self-reminders that this is a phase and not forever, which allows me to view this extra bonding time with Nico as a feature and not a bug.

TREADMILL WALKS AT THE GYM.

Our gym—with its free childcare and opportunity to break up our school day with time outside the house—has been saving my life for years now. My workouts have shifted over time, and these days I’m thankful for the treadmill which allows me to walk while wearing Nico and reading on my Kindle, with a gorgeous view to boot. Nico gets a good nap in, the twins get some time with friends, Charleston (who sits by me as I work out) gets uninterrupted time to do schoolwork, and I get physical exercise as well as some reading time. I come away from the workouts refreshed and energized for whatever else the day might hold.

How are you hanging in there this winter? Whether you are just-surviving or completely thriving, I have a feeling you have a list of things that are saving YOUR life right now: it might be a simple routine, or a useful gadget, or a game-changing mindset. Take a moment today to reflect on what could be on your list; writing it out might give insight into what’s working well for you in this season. And perhaps it will spark gratitude for the blessings that are hidden in the corners or your daily life.

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