“Kaaaallleeeee! Is THAT where your SHOES go?” I heard Sully call across the house to his sister. The rhetorical question was Sully’s not-so-subtle reminder for Kali to pick up the shoes she’d abandoned in the hallway. His phrasing was indirect and laced with bossy sarcasm, and I cringed in recognition of this question that felt all too familiar. Only this time, the questioner was different: usually it’s me who is calling out commands masquerading as questions.
Hearing my own words echoed by my five-year-old had me second-guessing my use of this style of speaking with my littles. When I’ve used this manner of questioning in the past, it felt like a plucky way of redirecting behavior without having to spell out my expectations. But hearing my slightly-sassy words in the mouth of another, I could recognize the arrogance and challenging nature of the question.
Since that moment, I’ve spent time reflecting on questions in general, and I’m noticing that question-asking is hardly as straightforward as it may appear on the surface. From the types of questions that we ask, to our motivations for asking them, to the way that questions are posed, a seemingly simple question can say a lot about the question asker, the one being questioned, the situation at hand, and—most importantly—the state of the questioner’s heart.
Unsurprisingly, this topic is addressed in Scripture. The Bible makes it pretty clear that God is receptive to our questions and invites question-askers who are genuinely seeking wisdom and understanding. We see this in both the Old Testament (in Jeremiah 33:3, God says, “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known”) and the New Testament (James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him”).
But Scripture also reveals that not all questions are equal in God’s eyes. The importance of our heart posture when asking questions is crucial, as is clear in Proverbs 14:6, which reads, “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning.” Tara-Leigh Cobble explains that this verse describes a person who appears to be seeking wisdom but is really a scoffer in disguise. She writes, “scoffers prefer questions to answers; answers are a threat, because they require something of us—they require us to submit to the answers we find. If someone is truly seeking, they’ll be delighted when you give them what they’re after!”
As someone who loves to ask questions and claims to be a genuine pursuer of knowledge, this insight into those who prefer questions to answers is jarring yet accurate. It’s true that I often pose questions—of others, of myself, of God—as a way of sidestepping an uncomfortable truth. Initially, my questions may be sincere, but when those preliminary questions begin to reveal answers that are not to my liking, I avoid acknowledging the truth by asking more questions that (conveniently) cast a cloud of murkiness around that inconvenient truth. It can be easier to sit in the gray of the questions than live in an unwanted black-and-white reality that the answers could reveal.
Zooming out from my own occasional preference for questions over answers, I see that this is an unfortunate trend among a majority in my generation. We who find ourselves swimming in the waters of postmodernism lean heavily into skepticism while blatantly disregarding objective truth. We love answers, but only as long as those answers suit our personal whims. But the more we scoff at genuine wisdom-seeking, the further we get from the Lord and His truth.
It can be disheartening to acknowledge the dark underbelly of a skill (asking questions) that comes so naturally to many of us—especially when that skill gives the appearance of being benign or even beneficial. But we can take great comfort in knowing that God sees our struggle in this and, instead of giving us over to our own shortcomings, offers to guide us on a healthier path instead. In Matthew 7:7, Jesus tells His followers, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” He invites us to ask with faith, sincerity, and confidence in His response. And He DOES respond with the truth, but also—and this is crucial—with His presence.
The answers we receive from God may be scary or inconvenient or awkward, but we are never left to wrestle them alone. Jesus is both the giver of knowledge and the comforter who holds us when that knowledge is hard to hear. God is not afraid of our (genuine) questions, and we need not fear the answers we are given when we receive them with the Lord at our side.