Hello again, friends! I’m back today with an update on my middle two because they are turning FIVE YEARS OLD this Friday! I write letters like these to my kids each month on their “Month Days,” and on their birthdays I like to share these letters with all of you, too, along with some birthday pics and fun interviews. I hope you enjoy this little insight into Kali and Sully at five years old!

My Dearest Kali Joy and Sully Bear,

Happy fifth birthday to my very favorite duo! How are we already here? I blinked and you two grew into a whole-hand-years-old! I’ve been thinking a lot lately about when the two of you were newborns—partly because your birthday is approaching, and also because we’re back in that newborn stage with Nico. Your arrival five years ago was not at all what I’d hoped for, and not being awake for your delivery is still one of the biggest regrets of my life. But I will never forget those first moments of meeting you. I was so groggy from the anesthesia, but even in that postpartum haze I was overcome with joy to be welcoming not one but TWO babies into my arms as Daddy handed you to me. I had worried that I could never have enough love, let alone hands, for twins, but all fears were immediately dispelled as I snuggled you both to my breast—not so different from how I gather you both into my arms and snuggle close with you to this day.

From the very beginning, it felt right for you two to always be together. We got scolded by nurses in the hospital for placing you in the same bassinet, but I couldn’t bear to see you apart. I tandem nursed you (for four whole years!). You always slept in the same crib and bed (until you each got your own a couple of months ago, and you still regularly choose to sleep together). Your playtime and school time has always been together, and for the most part you’ve done the same activities. Whether it’s because of all this together time, or in spite of it, your twin bond had remained and continues to grow. Of course you occasionally bicker and argue over toys, but for the most part you get along incredibly well and are the best of friends. It’s amazing to watch you two interact, bodies seamlessly moving together as you hug or kiss or grab each other’s hands. You effortlessly slide into playtime, intuiting one another’s words and actions and demonstrating the sweetest care towards each other. You roughhouse when you’re feeling silly, snuggle when one of you is sad, and play silently side by side when you want to be on your own. You love to tell people you meet that you’re twins, and I think you both know what a gift that is.

Thankfully your love for each other does not preclude relationships with other friends or with everyone else in our house. You guys both adore Nico and love kissing and holding and singing to him, bringing him toys when he’s crying and helping me whenever you can. Seeing you with him has been such a delight; I love that you are getting the chance to be great big siblings to Nico just as Charlie has been to you. And speaking of Charlie, you sure love him! Sully especially looks up to his big brother (whom he affectionately calls “Bud”), and always wants to be doing what he’s doing. You both tend to follow his lead in play time and various activities, though Kali frequently gets bored with what the boys are doing and goes off to do her own thing. Kali is more likely to butt heads with Charlie since they both have very big personalities and strong preferences, but you do get along most of the time.

You two have done a lot of growing up in the past year! You’re much more independent, able to buckle into your carseats and wipe your own booties and managing your own play time. We’ve largely moved away from naptime, though you still spend two hours of “quiet time” in your room every afternoon. I’m doing school with you both for the first time this year and it has been an absolute blast! You both love our letter songs, games, and activities, and are so cute doing them together and helping each other with your worksheets and flashcards. You’re progressing at different levels, so we might be moving forward with separate lessons in the future, but for now I’m enjoying the chance to teach the two of you together; it has been such an entirely different experience than teaching just Charleston.

Playtime for you guys has changed some too. When you’re with Charleston, you love building forts, playing games like dodgeball and tag, putting together Legos, and making paper crafts. On your own you enjoy playing with play-doh, painting or drawing, doing puzzles, and playing more imaginative games like House and Doctor. You’re also big fans of shuffling your various trinkets and knicknacks into cubbies and bags that you tote with you around the house. You play games like Spot It and Memory when it’s just the two of you, but you especially love Family Game Nights when we all play together. Neither of you are fans of losing, though, and we are still working on having good sportsmanship.

While your behavior at home is hardly perfect, you both are really good kids which does not go unnoticed by your teachers at church, the gym, and other activities. Adults always comment on how well-behaved and sweet you both are, and you are great at playing with other friends and helping them feel included. I’m thankful for your kind hearts and eagerness to participate and to behave when in someone else’s care.

As much as your twinness is intrinsic to who you both are, you are VERY different and we do our best to honor your unique personalities. Sully, my sweet middle boy: it’s silly to think I once feared you would get lost in the shuffle of your sibling set as the youngest (now middle) boy because there is absolutely no losing you. You are truly one of a kind—sweet, thoughtful, curious, and just the right amount of goofy. You’re my sensitive kiddo which can lead to lots of hurt feelings (especially when you perceive an unfairness) and tears, but it also makes you attentive to other’s needs and results in tons of hugs and snuggles. Physical touch is your love language, and you won’t hear any complaints from me!

Your curiosity is insatiable and you are always asking questions about how things work or why we do certain things. And my answers are always followed up with another question, “how’d ya know?” You are truly thriving in our school lessons and can’t wait to learn how to read. Lately you can almost always be found with pen and paper in hand so you can write out words you’ve sounded out or asked me to spell. You’re also obsessed with numbers and will fixate on them at the bottom of book pages and on the clock in my car (every minute you loudly declare the new time). And when looking through an Amazon catalogue to make a birthday wish list, you made your list based on the toys’ recommended ages: you cared more about those numbers than the items themselves!

While you’re usually the straight man to Kali’s free spirit, you have a silly side too and love to make us laugh with your antics and faces. You are also excessively polite, which goes along with your general eagerness to please. You’re not a pushover, though, and I’ve seen great leadership skills developing in you as well as a steady confidence both at home and in social settings. I can’t wait to see how God uses these traits in the years to come!

My darling girl, what a blessing you are . . . and also, what a journey we’ve been on this year! You’ve always been a girl of big emotions, both the good and the bad. When you are being especially opinionated and defiant that can be really hard to navigate (and eerily familiar as you are very like you mama at that age). But when you are being sweet, you are the most fun, adorable, tender little girl I ever did meet. You love to perform and are always making up songs and dancing around the house, and you want to be a singer when you grow up. You’re excelling in your dance class and I continue to be impressed with your poise and gracefulness.

You tend to march to the beat of your own drum and at home are happy to play on your own while your brothers do their thing. You crave words of affirmation, and while you’re very confident in many areas you get frustrated with yourself when you perceive that you aren’t good at something. We are especially working to build up your confidence in academics, as learning is not coming as easily to you as your brothers and that’s been frustrating for you.

Despite being surrounded by brothers, you continue to be ALL GIRL. You love your accessories and dresses (in fact, I can’t get you to wear anything else) and excel at piecing together an outfit. You love doing your makeup and nails (we had our first mother/daughter pedicures last week which was SO FUN) and talk often about being a mama like me. It’s fun to see you interact with other little girls (all the cutsie mannerisms come out), and I love listening in on your ongoing phone conversations (via walkie talkie) with your imaginary friend Sparkles. You’ve been my most imaginative kiddo, and also my most easily excited, and I hope you never lose that sense of creativity and wonder.

Kali and Sully, I had fun asking you some questions for a birthday interview last week. I was a little surprised by your reactions to the interview: Sully, who usually does not STOP talking, was more reticent with his answers. . . and really, I should have expected this since Sully much prefers asking questions to answering them. Kali, on the other hand, was eager to answer and added commentary to many of her answers. Your answers are together here, but I interviewed you separately so you couldn’t influence each other’s answers. I wonder what a joint interview would have looked like!

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF:

KALI: My favorite things are treasure, moneys (real ones), and coloring, and TV (like watching TV), and I like sparkly colors and I like phones, and milkshakes. I don’t know what I look like, but . . . I don’t have a tail!

SULLY: I’m good at playing tag and hide-and-seek. I like to watch TV. I like finding real coins and finding diamonds and having them. And. . . I don’t know what else, those are I think all my things.

WHAT WAS THE BEST PART OF BEING FOUR?

SULLY: Probly. . . having a new baby.

KALI: Having a birthday when I was being four.

WHAT IS THE MOST EXCITING PART OF TURNING FIVE?

KALI: Presents and having fun.

SULLY: That’s easy. My new presents!

DESCRIBE A PERFECT DAY.

SULLY: I’d get my friends some toys. I would go somewhere to buy a toy for me. And get a kitty. And how about picking plants from the garden.

KALI: Hmm, that’s a tricky one. Having fun. Invite someone to your house.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

KALI: Is oatmeal a food? Yes, oatmeal. And pancakes ’cause they’re pretty good.

SULLY: Cereal and oatmeal and pears.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

SULLY: All of the colors of the rainbow, and turquoise, and pink.

KALI: Pink and purple and sparkly.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO?

KALI: Color unicorns and rainbows and pretty stuff.

SULLY: Play with toys. I don’t know what toys, Mom.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO WATCH?

SULLY: Moana.

KALI: Princess movies. And Barbie movies.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO VISIT?

KALI: Collin’s house.

SULLY: Grandma and Grandpa’s house and Collin’s house.

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

SULLY: I have a LOT of friends, I don’t know. Hmm. . . Shayden, Collin, Brooke (counting them off on his fingers), Lynnie, Lanyo.

KALI: Lynnie and Lanyo and Collin and I forget everybody else. And Shayden, ’cause those are the people I know, not the other ones ’cause I don’t remember them.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

KALI: Me happy? Looking pretty. Jewelry makes me look pretty.

SULLY: You getting me new toys.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SCARED?

SULLY: Monsters and bears and stuff.

KALI: Bug bites.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SAD?

KALI: Having a consequence. And my friend moving away. Why did they move even?! I think they liked their home! We don’t like moving because it’s really hard, you have to pack all your stuff in the car. All the stuff, like you have to keep picking all the stuff and you drop it on your toe, ow, I don’t want to do that! But I want to live with her. But I live with you! I’m happy that I live with Nico. If I lived with them, I would move away. But I could visit you! Can you text my friend and tell them, “I love you and I’m sorry you moved.” And tell them we had a baby Nico!

SULLY: Getting hurt.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

SULLY: When people be silly. Opa and Grandpa and Daddy are silly.

KALI: Silly questions. Charlie asks me silly questions.

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT GOD.

KALI: That He gives our hearts to us. And He likes to have fun with people.

SULLY: That He’s in your heart and that He died on the cross for our sins and that we’ll see Him in Heaven.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE REALLY GOOD AT?

SULLY: Tag. And hide-and-seek. . . sometimes.

KALI: Dancing.

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET BETTER AT?

KALI: That’s pretty hard, but I wanna get better at is . . . being good because I’ve been scratching Charlie and Sully. But they keep letting me do something else, they’re making me sad!

SULLY: Picking plants.

IF YOU COULD MAKE ANY WISH COME TRUE, WHAT WOULD YOU WISH FOR?

SULLY: Buying a new toy.

KALI: A tree house.

DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO ASK ME?

KALI: Uh-huh, a knock know joke. Knock knock. Who’s There. The Flag of America. The Flag of America Who? I love flags!

SULLY: Nope.

DO YOU HAVE A BIRTHDAY WISH FOR KALI/SULLY?

SULLY: That Kali would marry me. What’s so funny?

KALI: That I can give him another prize, like a picture of me and him.

Kali and Sully, I know our lives have looked a lot different this past month since Nico was born. I wish I could give you the same attention that you’ve had in the past. Thank you for your patience, for rolling with the chaos, and for remaining joyful in this new phase that we are in. My energy is spread more thinly these days, but I pray that’s never cause for you to doubt the immensity of my love for you both, which has only grown.

As you enter into your sixth year of life, my pray for you both is that you continue to flourish and grow. That you become more confident in your passion for Jesus as you embrace His enormous love for you, and that you continue to love others well. That you step into your talents and strengths with courage and conviction, while still acknowledging when you need help. I pray that you never stop seeing the gift you have in each other. And I pray that you never, ever doubt how much I love you, am proud of you, and delight in you both. Happy, HAPPY birthday my loves!

Love Always and Forever,

Mama