Happy Month-Day, Nico-Nico, and congratulations to you (to us!) for surviving the fourth trimester. The Fussy Monster conspired against us, but we made it to the other side and are all the stronger for it.
As I type this you’re swinging away in the baby swing at my feet, oblivious to the raucous squeals of your siblings, the periodic slamming of the back door as they race in and out of the house, and the Christmas tunes accompanying me as I write. You may outgrow this ability to sleep through anything, or (God willing) it might be a side benefit of being the youngest of four vibrant children residing in a never-silent home.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how different your earliest days have been compared to the “starter months” of your siblings. Even though you receive just as much of my attention as they did as babies (mostly because you insist on it!), your life is so much more on-the-go and very much revolves around their activities and schedules. You’re surrounded by Big Kid noises, Big Kid school, Big Kid entertainment, Big Kid toys, and more. You will either mature incredibly quickly because of this, or more slowly because we over-compensate in our attempts to stay age-appropriate with you. And suddenly, all of the youngest-child tropes are starting to make sense. . . .
Because you’re the youngest, you don’t have your own space—and I mean that in every sense of the word, as you have no nursery and you always have other kids in your personal bubble. But of course this is also the BEST difference, because it means that you get to live alongside three extra bodies who positively adore you. I asked your siblings to each say something about you this week, and here were their responses to my open-ended prompt:
Kalinda—”I like how he smiles and how I hold him and when he was holding onto my dress when we were doing Bible verse today. One more thing, I liked that Nico had a lot of hair when he was born.”
Sullivan—”I want to say that I love him. My favorite thing about him is that he’s cute. I like to help him and to hold him.”
Charleston—”I like how he is so cute and how, when I give him kisses, sometimes he’ll give me a big smile, and how he’s so funny sometimes, like when he does funny movements or makes one of his funny faces [models a puckered lips face].”
Watching the three of them interact with you is probably my very favorite thing in life right now. And you already have unique relationships with each of them. Sully is always always asking to touch or kiss you and wondering what you may need (diaper? milkies? snuggles?). Kali coos and talks to you and she and Sully both cheer you up with your giraffe rattle (they’re SO GOOD about making sure we have him every time we get in the car).
Charleston likes to hold you, and the two of you will spend long stretches hanging out on the couch looking at books or just chatting. When he’s doing his independent math work, he’ll bring it over to the swing (where you often hang out during school time) so you can learn together, and he talks through the problems aloud so you can hear. Charleston is having a hard time with how quickly you are growing and has cried more than once thinking about how fast time is flying. I hope he knows that you two will only get closer as you grow.
For your part, you love the attention from your siblings. In fact, you love any attention you can get! You’ve started to let people beyond Mama hold you (what a relief, because as much as I love having you in my arms, I sometimes need a break!) and have loved being cuddled by some of my mama friends. You and Daddy are doing a lot more bonding in the rocker. And your happy place these days is the changing table because when you’re there you have my (or Daddy’s) full attention. You make eye contact and smile and coo, even as your booty is being awkwardly wiped.
Those sweet coos often develop into smiles because as of this month you are officially a SMILER! Your smiles are still a little hard for you to get to but are absolutely the most heart-exploding sight. My heart literally beats faster and happy tears come to my eyes the moment I see your lips start to curl upward and that little tongue start to work. These are the moments a mama lives for!
The new emergence of smiles doesn’t mean you’ve given up your crying, but thankfully you’re doing a whole lot less of that these days. When you do cry it is a lot louder (so long, sweet newborn cry) but more intentional—and, sadly, always accompanied by crocodile tears. Milkies always calm you down, as does bouncing and shushing and sometimes distraction.
You’ve developed this new habit of sputtering when you are working up to a full cry. It involves lots of spitting to the point where Daddy has started calling you Mr. Bubbles. (We’ve got photo documentation so when you’re grown and your own kids ask why their grandpa calls you Mr. Bubbles, we can provide them with visuals.) You’re drooling a lot even when not crying, too, and I’m wondering if you could be starting to teethe soon? It seems too early, though, especially since your siblings all got teeth much later, so only time will tell.
You’re sleeping pretty well at night these days. I nurse you and put you down for your first stretch of sleep between 7 and 8, then wake you to nurse at least once before I bring you to bed with me around midnight. (You’re a little behind on your growth curve as of last month’s checkup, so I try not to let you go more than two or three hours between feedings.) You sleep-nurse at my side most of the night, and though you often get restless I usually don’t have to get out of bed with you until we get up for the day at 5:30.
Your daytime sleep is very inconsistent. Some days you catnap throughout the day, some days you take one or two long naps, and there have been days when you didn’t napped at all. In your awake time you are very alert, always taking everything in. We’ve started facing you forward in the baby carriers and you LOVE it. When I’m sitting and holding you (at Bible study or church or meal times or school time,) you like to sit facing forward on my lap like a big boy, and you have pretty great head control. You also like “standing” with our support and your legs are very strong—probably because those muscles got a great workout kicking my ribs when you were still inside of me!
Your awareness has begun stretching to toys, and you have started “playing with” the hanging toys on your bouncy seat and play mat. Of course your siblings are fascinated by this and are great at engaging you in your play.
You had your first Halloween this month and looked so cute in all your Halloween outfits and especially in your fox costume (which you didn’t particularly love). I’m excited to celebrate your first Thanksgiving and then Christmas soon, too! You have no idea what’s going on, but it’s exciting to see you take it all in. Having you here with us, making these family holiday memories, is so incredibly special.
Nickelson, everything about you is special. I continue to be so enamored with you. You’re rarely out of my sight, but I remain in wonder that God brought you into our lives. These days I feel almost naked when you’re not in my arms or dangling from the carrier on my chest; my arms grow tired, but my heart is so full. I love you always and forever, my precious boy!
Love,
Mama
LIKES: milkies, baby swing, Giraffe-y the rattle toy, play mat, changing table, bath time
DISLIKES: getting into your car seat (you usually settle down after a while)
NEWEST NICKNAME: Mr. Bubbles
CLOTHING SIZE: 0-3 months
DIAPER SIZE: Honest Diapers, Size 1
EYE COLOR: It’s hard to tell! They’re no longer blue but not brown yet either, but they’re obviously on the cusp of changing.
NEW DEVELOPMENT: facing forward in the baby carrier
MILESTONES: smiling!, holding toys, swatting at toys
SWEET MOMENTS I WANT TO REMEMBER: “chats” on the changing table, seeing you and Charleston hang out together on the couch—you in Charleston’s lap—looking at books
