To My Favorite Little Bundles of Love,
Happy two months, you two! It’s hard to believe another month has flown by, and yet I can barely remember what life was like before you both were born. While it doesn’t seem possible, I find myself falling more in love with each of you every day. You are such a blessing and I am constantly pinching myself, unable to believe that you are here, that you are mine.
I am amazed by how much you have both grown up in the past month. You have much better head/neck support (especially Kali) than you did a month ago, and you’re developing incredibly strong legs that can hold quite a bit of weight. Yesterday, Sully even used those legs to crawl/inch several feet across the floor! You each are able to roll from you tummy to your back and you can bust out of even the tightest swaddles. You both love being held up in the air and even being slightly tossed!
While I love you both more than words can convey, this month has not been an easy one. We have definitely moved beyond the sleepy newborn stage and into a want-to-nurse-or-be-held-all-the-time stage. Ironically, you both are amazingly easy to soothe—simply picking you up usually does the trick, and you don’t even seem to mind diaper changes or baths, because it means you are being held. If there were just one of you, this fourth trimester would be a breeze. But with two, it’s impossible for me to be nursing or holding you all the time, which makes you both seem much needier and more colicky than you really are.
We’ve discovered that baby wearing does wonders for you two! I have a Baby K’Tan, and other than when I’m in the shower, driving, or tandem nursing, one of you is in it at all times. Your daddy has a Baby Bjorn that Kali likes to be in, so he often wears her during the day while he works, and I wear Sully. But last week Daddy was sick for six full days and nights and couldn’t be near either of you at all, which meant you each got a lot fewer snuggles. It was rough on me, handling all of the diapers and baby care on my own, and you both were left to cry a LOT more than I felt comfortable with. But we survived the week, and are so glad to have Daddy back in the parenting game!
While parenting you two is much easier when we are man-on-man, I’ve been proud of how I’ve managed two babies at once. Thankfully you are still small enough for me to easily carry you both at the same time, as I spend a lot of time with you two in my arms. At home, I often wear one of you while holding the other.
It’s gotten easier for me to go out with you both; I’ve become a pro at getting the double stroller in and out of the trunk and you two in and out of the car in your car seats. I’ve even taken you grocery shopping, wearing Kali while Sully was in his carrier in the cart, and people’s reactions were priceless—they would see me wearing a baby and smile, then slowly register the presence of a second baby in the cart and exclaim (to themselves or me or the person with them), “Oh my, it’s twins!” This exact reaction happened at least ten times during our shopping trip, and I couldn’t keep from laughing!
It’s been fun to be a part of the Twin Mom tribe. On multiple occasions, other moms have come up to me to tell me that they have twins as well and to offer words of encouragement. A couple of moms have even given me their numbers, letting me know I was free to text with questions or just to vent.
We celebrated your first official holiday this month–Halloween! We dressed you in matching Dalmatian pajamas and you were twin fire dogs to Charleston’s fireman. You couldn’t have been any cuter! We took you out trick-or-treating, and even though it was freezing, you slept in the stroller the entire time. I have a feeling next Halloween will be a lot more eventful for you!
We are still trying to figure out a schedule that works for us, and right now it’s still a free for all. You tend to wake up for the day between 6 and 7 and I nurse you both in bed, then change you and hope you will sleep or at least be calm while I take care of Charleston’s morning needs and get myself ready for the day. (Spoiler: you never actually sleep at this time). Then I nurse you again, get you both dressed, and we head out for our morning’s outing, which might be an appointment or a playdate but is usually the gym. It no longer is scary to leave the house with all three of you, especially since your big brother is such a big help when we are out.
On the mornings when we go to the gym, we drop Charleston off at childcare and I walk the indoor track with Sully napping in the stroller and Kali asleep in the baby wrap (because otherwise Kali will scream the entire walk). Afterwards we run errands or go to the park or library, then head home for more nursing before I attempt to get you get you both down for a nap before working on lunch. (Another Spoiler: that almost never happens, and I’m almost always holding or wearing at least one of you while I make and eat lunch).
Our afternoons are spent at home, with me trying to take care of your needs while also playing with Charleston and getting work done around the house. Around 5:00 (usually your fussiest time of day, and the tears continue until around 11 or later), I start making dinner and Daddy watches you while I shower, then I nurse you again in an attempt to get you to sleep before the rest of us eat dinner. (Spoiler. . . want to guess?) Usually, Daddy and I each hold one of you through dinner. When Daddy isn’t home (and when he was sick), we eat at the coffee table where I can nurse you both in the nursing pillow while I eat.
When we are done with dinner, you tandem nurse while I read Charleston his bedtime stories. Once he’s in bed, I get you into your pajamas, swaddle you up, and attempt to get you to sleep for the night. This is usually a several-hour process of nursing and bouncing. Sully is generally the first to go out, and I put him in the nursing pillow (still swaddled) where he will sleep for a long stretch—once up to eight hours! Kali is harder to get down; sometimes Daddy can snuggle with her until she falls asleep, other times she won’t go to sleep until I come to bed and can nurse her lying down on my side while we both fall asleep.
After a few nights in which we literally didn’t sleep at all, our nighttimes have gotten quite a bit easier. If you aren’t both in bed with me when I go to sleep, I pull you in—one on either side of me—when you first wake up, and we nurse while sleeping; I simply roll to the side of the baby who needs me. Once or twice per night you both wake up at the same time and I change you and tandem nurse you back to sleep. Now that you are sleeping better, it’s been amazing to get some longer stretches of rest!
It cracks me up to see the two of you together because you seem completely unfazed by one another. I am so thankful that you don’t wake or disturb each other with your cries, but I wish that being together was able to console you. When I lie you next to one another you will often take turns crying while the other looks on, unfazed (it’s usually Kali crying and Sully observing); once one twin stops, the other starts up.
You have zero personal bubble, grabbing one another’s arms and bodies as if they are your own, hitting each other in the face, sucking on each other’s heads or noses or fingers, and occasionally intertwining hands. (That last one completely melts me!) When you are both upset and I put you down in the crib or playpen, you do this thing where you kick and stretch and push each other in a circle, rotating a full 360 degrees. It’s remarkable to watch!
I still have hopes of you two becoming the best of friends, but for now you are much more interested in your big brother than in each other. And he is completely smitten with you! He loves helping me burp you and holding you, and he is always touching your heads and snuggling and talking to you. He never complains about sitting between two screaming babies in the back seat of the car, or how my time with you is taking away from how much time I get to spend with him. One of my favorite moments of the day is when he comes into my room in the morning and hops into bed with us for morning kisses.
I spend a lot of my time strapped into our tandem nursing pillow with you two at the breast. You are both very enthusiastic eaters, and become particularly loud and aggressive when you are nursing at the same time, as though you are competing to get the most milk. One of my favorite things is looking down at each of you, the tops of your heads resting against each other, completely content. Often Charleston hangs out with us and I read or play with him while you feed. Oh, how I savor these precious moments of connection with my three miracles.
My beautiful Kalinda, you are a feisty one! You get upset more quickly than your brother but are also easier to calm down. The evening hours (especially after dinner) are your fussiest times. You are definitely a night owl like your mom! You have a very strong startle reflex and when you cry, you get a look of sheer terror on your face that breaks my heart.
You like being worn in the carrier (preferably with your head poking out) or being held in the cradle position. You also seem to really love boys: you and Charleston have an especially strong bond, and you are happiest when hanging out with your daddy. You even gave him your first smile a couple of weeks ago (though you haven’t done a repeat performance).
You strongly dislike being in your car seat and scream as soon as we put you in it. While Sully will settle down on a walk, you usually cry until I pull you out of the stroller and wear you instead. After always seeing you in the wrap while Sully is in the stroller, a woman at the gym asked if he ever gets held too, or just you! I assured you that Sully is hardly neglected but that you just need a little more attention most days.
In the last week we have discovered that you really enjoy being on your belly! Unlike your brother, tummy time tends to calm you down and you often fall asleep on you stomach. You also self-soothe by sucking your thumb: you do this when you are on your tummy, and also as soon as you are done nursing while still resting on the nursing pillow; you are a faster eater than your brother, so you spend a lot of time in that position, and it is the most adorable thing to watch you sleep with that little fist in your mouth!
LENGTH: 19.75 inches WEIGHT: 7 pounds 9 ounces
EYE COLOR: Dark Blue
CLOTHING SIZE: Newborn DIAPER SIZE: Newborn
LIKES: being on your belly, being worn in the Baby K’Tan, sucking your thumb/hand
DISLIKES: being in your car seat/stroller, NOT being held, sleeping alone
NICKNAMES: Girlie, Sister, Kali Girl, Sweetheart, Pumpkin
MILESTONES: Rolling from Tummy to Back (at 5/6 weeks), First Smile (at 6 weeks), Slept Through the Night (6 hours, at 7 weeks)
My precious Sully Bear, you are my sweet and sensitive boy. You are so observant, always taking in the world around you and making the most expressive faces. You have blown us all away by how much you have progressed this month. You seem to be catching up with Kali both physically and developmentally.
You are no longer needing to take supplemented bottles, though you got into the habit of having a bottle after nursing, so sometimes topping you off with a pumped bottle is the only thing that will calm you down, even after a marathon nursing session. But most of the time, you are a more eager nurser than your sister, though you need frequent burpings during your feedings and need to be kept upright after you eat. You also really like just hanging out on my breast when you are done suckling.
You’ve gotten very slobbery in the past few days (I hope that doesn’t mean you are teething soon!) and really like blowing bubbles. And you continue to be fascinated with your tongue, sticking it out and shaping it into different positions. You also still like being in the fetal position, making it a challenge to keep you from getting your legs tangled up in your pajamas.
Until last week you were much less “needy” than Kali, content to hang out in the rocking glider or propped in the nursing pillow. I think you were missing out on all the attention, though, because this week you have decided that you need to be held as much as your sister. Your cry is much more shrill and distressed-sounding than Kali’s, so when you need our attention, you get it! While you settle down in the evenings and sleep great at night, you really want to be worn or held during the day, and mostly by me. I find that I don’t mind at all, because you are such a gentle cuddle bug. I especially love your sweet cooing noises. But my favorite Sully moments are when I kiss you on the lips and you smack mine back in the most darling little kiss. And I’ll never forget the moment last week when you gave me your first smile! You are my Mama’s boy, through and through, and the feeling is mutual!
LENGTH: 20 inches WEIGHT: 7 pounds 5 ounces
EYE COLOR: Blue
CLOTHING SIZE: Newborn DIAPER SIZE: Newborn
LIKES: hanging out in the nursing pillow, being worn in the Baby K’Tan
DISLIKES: having a wet/dirty diaper, NOT being held
NICKNAMES: Sully Bear, Brother, Buddy, Love Bug
MILESTONES: Rolling from Tummy to Back (at 4/5 weeks), Slept Through the Night (8 hours, at 7 weeks), First Smile (at 7 weeks)
Sully and Kali, parenting you has been one of my biggest challenges to date, but also one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I adore you both as newborns and am sad by how fleeting these baby days will be, but I’m also excited to see all that is in store for us in the weeks and months to come!
Your Adoring Mom