My mom sends out a Friday Fun Fact to our family text thread every week. At the beginning of the month, she shared this gem: “February started on a Sunday this year, and will end on a Saturday. So, calendar-wise, there won’t be any wasted space. No empty squares at the beginning or end. Just a perfectly constructed, four-week grid.”

This piece of trivia makes my order-loving, OCD heart positively giddy. One downside to this year’s February layout, though, is that today is the final Monday of the month—the day that I had slated for sharing what I learned this winter—and we still have almost a week of February left. February 23rd seems a tad premature to be sharing what I learned this winter when the true end of winter is still a few weeks away. Do I love this misalignment of seasons and schedules? No. Does the few days really matter in the grand scheme of themes. Also, no. Verdict: I’m moving forward with my scheduled plans. Points in favor of this decision are 1) the unseasonably warm weather we’ve having here in Texas that makes me THINK it’s already spring, and 2) the fact that this winter was an especially difficult season and I’m eager to put it behind me.

Reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned from a challenging time has a way of redeeming the tougher moments and helping me recognize the bright spots, and I am more than happy to soften the blow of some of this winter’s pain. While I learned a great deal EACH DAY this season, the biggest take-aways and lessons tended to fell into some distinct categories, which is how I’ll share them here.

CHRISTMAS TAKEAWAYS

1. Christmas caroling is basically December Trick-or-Treating in reverse (and it’s my new favorite holiday tradition).

At Christmas, I had my first neighborhood caroling experience with our Trail Life and American Heritage Girls troops, and it was one of my favorite memories of the year. The exact experience of singing door-to-door was new to me, but it felt familiar; after knocking on several doors, I realized why: door-to-door caroling felt just like Halloween night, when neighbors gather in the street for festivity, community, and celebration. Our group of carolers was large and the experience was chaotic, with singing that left a lot to be desired. But the camaraderie we experienced with our fellow carolers and the recipients of our serenading was nothing short of magical, bringing all of the warmth, cheer, and memorability that I desire from a Christmas tradition.

2. You can plan everything perfectly, but you can’t guarantee a perfect outcome.

After years of fine-tuning, I have a pretty good handle on how our family “does” Christmas, right down to my gifting timelines and our approach to each and every Advent tradition. The systems and routines are designed to bring maximum joy to the season, and generally this works. But the best-laid plans do not account for illness, and the idyllic Christmas I’d envisioned was unfortunately derailed by the tummy bug that knocked our family out in the final weeks of December. We made the best of the situation, but it was a huge bummer; I was crushed when Kali and I had to skip the living nativity because she was sick, and I literally cried when Nico began vomiting at church on Christmas Eve and I had to miss my favorite service of the year. The entire season was an exercise in holding plans loosely and learning to make the most of a challenging situation—painful lessons that I’d prefer not to revisit next Christmas season.

NOTES FROM THE FIELD(TRIPS)

3. Check all the details.

Last August, when our homeschool group announced a field trip to see a performance of The Nutcracker, I couldn’t sign us up fast enough. I have wanted to see the ballet since I was a child and was thrilled at the chance to finally experience it; attending the show with my kids and our friends would be an added bonus! I talked up the experience to the kids all season and we read picture book adaptations and listened to the music in preparation for the show. Two weeks prior to the event, I realized that I hadn’t received any further details from our field trip coordinator and reached out with some questions. My text was met with confusion because our family was not on her list of confirmed attendees; apparently I was supposed to contact her directly back in August in order to confirm our participation, and somehow I had missed this necessary step. Long story short, we were not able to attend The Nutcracker. I was gutted, as in sobbing huge sobs over the disappointment. My kids were sad, too, and I hated that I had let them down as a result of my own carelessness. There is a bright side to this story, though: after seeing my extreme disappointment, the kids decided that they would bring The Nutcracker to ME. They prepared, rehearsed, and performed an entire rendition of the show in our living room, and it was one of the most beautiful and touching things they have ever done. So I guess the REAL takeaway from this painful experience is that I am honestly blessed with the most incredible, thoughtful children.

3b. Seriously, though, check all the details.

In January we went on a field trip downtown to tour the Texas Capitol. This time I managed to get us properly signed up and to the event. The tour itself went (mostly) well (see #4). Afterwards we drove to another spot downtown for lunch and needed to park several blocks away from our restaurant. I had the foresight to take a picture of our parking spot on the fifth floor so that I could remember where we’d parked. Unfortunately, I did not think to take a picture of the structure itself. The five of us made our way to the restaurant and enjoyed the meal with our friends, after which we returned to our car. . . or attempted to return to our car but somehow wound up in the wrong parking structure—a fact we didn’t realize until we had climbed up to the fifth floor and noticed that our car was not in its presumed location. This was met with great amounts of grumbling from the three big kids (who were exhausted after a long day) and from my own thighs (that were tired after climbing so many stairs with Nico in the baby carrier). The kids and I made our way back downstairs, found another structure, and climbed up. This, too, appeared to be the wrong parking garage. (Insert crying-face emoji here.) Believe it or not, this happened a THIRD time before I remembered that the parking pass in my wallet listed the name of our parking structure. The good news is that we eventually found our car, just where we’d left it; the bad news is that my children will never trust my sense of direction again (and who can blame them?!).

4. Ditch the stroller and go with the baby carrier instead.

Before all those flights of stairs, we had a wonderful visit to the Texas Capitol. The only downside was that I had brought the stroller, and the Capitol is NOT stroller friendly. The worst part is that Nico wanted nothing to do with the stroller and I wound up wearing him in the carrier while pushing an empty stroller up and down stairs. In our subsequent field trips I’ve left the stroller at home and been much happier for it.

VISION INSIGHTS

5. I have better than 20/20 vision.

I’ve never had any major problems with my vision, but in recent years I felt as though my distance vision had gotten blurrier. I finally made my first-ever appointment with an eye doctor and discovered that I do not need glasses; in fact, my eyesight is even better than 20/20 (which I assume means that I previously had excellent vision if my declined vision is still better than “normal”?). I had been gearing myself up for a new set of glasses and am surprised but relieved that I will not be needing them, although the eye doctor assures me that at 41, reading glasses are in my very near future.

6. Kali is far-sighted and needs glasses.

We made eye appointments for the kids as well, and the boys’ vision is great but we discovered that Kali does need glasses. I am hoping that her vision problem was a factor in the difficulties she’s been having with learning to read and that we can begin making quicker progress now that she can see! Kali is happy for the help and looks so adorable in her pink lenses, I can hardly stand it!

7. Passing a vision screening does NOT mean that you have perfect vision.

At the kids’ eye appointment, the doctor recommended this book that addresses several myths of 20/20 vision (full review to come!). The book was chock-full of helpful information that I had never considered, but my hugest “no way!” moment was reading that vision tests are not an accurate predictor of whether or not a child needs glasses because, “20/20 means only that your child can see tiny letters across the room FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES TO READ THE EYE CHART. . . 20/20 eyesight is absolutely NO guarantee that your child has the visual abilities to succeed in school.” This is something that has never occurred to me, and it has me thinking more critically about vision tests AS WELL AS other metrics we use for pinpointing various problems, medical or otherwise. How often are we putting our trust in systems and tests that are not accurate indicators of the problems they are meant to identify?

HOMESCHOOLING LESSONS

8. EZ + 1

The writing curriculum we adopted this year uses the mnemonic EZ+1 to help parents and teachers remember to give students one new stylistic technique at a time. This slow-and-steady approach of adding additional rigor to a student’s assignments boosts motivation by keeping kids challenged without overwhelming them. Our CC tutor has encouraged us to take this EZ+1 approach in all of our homeschooling by giving our kids assignments that are just one step above what comes easily for them. She also regularly reminds us that it is perfectly okay to over-help our kids in the +1 parts of their assignments (with hands-on structure and hands-off content), providing them with scaffolding that will get them to the next levels of independence and mastery while still allowing them to rely on their own strengths and creativity. This new framework has been invaluable in working with my kids this year, during schooltime and even in other areas like chores and emotional regulation.

9. Our family was desperately in need of a break.

After a rigorous fall semester, our family stumbled into the month of December eager for our customary five-week holiday break from school. I knew we needed the break, but didn’t realize how much that break was needed until we were actually in it. The time off of schoolwork allowed for more time resting and playing together as a family. It was especially wonderful to see the kids’ creativity come out during their newfound free time. I loved watching them play games and create books and cards, and a highlight was seeing Charleston lead his siblings in creating a Christmas movie that we all got to enjoy on Christmas Eve. Our month off of school was a glimpse into the unschooling life, and though I would not feel comfortable taking that approach full-time with our homeschool, I can certainly see the allure.

Thanks, Kalahari!

10. Kalahari in February > Kalahari in July.

For the second year in a row, Charleston chose a trip to Kalahari in lieu of a birthday party. Last year we tagged the Kalahari experience onto the summer homeschool convention that takes place at the Kalahari resort; this year we took advantage of an amazing homeschool deal and visited the water park in February, when we learned the wonders of a waterpark in winter. Though we did miss experiencing the outdoor portions of the waterpark that are closed during the winter months, we loved having the indoor park to ourselves. There were NO LINES or crowds whatsoever! It was also a lot of fun to be in our swimsuits in an 84-degree environment when it was chilly outdoors. I don’t know that we will ever go back to Kalahari in summer again.

11. If possible, two nights and three days is the way to go.

Because a Kalahari room stay gets you two-day access to the waterpark, it is cheaper for our family of six to stay overnight than to go just the waterpark for the day. And with our homeschool deal, we were able to grab two nights in a suite for less than we spent on one night in a standard room last July. What a luxury! The extra night meant we could take our time in the waterpark and linger in the hotel in the mornings without feeling rushed. It was also nice to be able to return to the hotel room mid-day for breaks with Nico. We all loved Kalahari last summer, but the added day and better room as well as the decreased crowds elevated this February’s visit from good to fantastic.

12. Let go of placing limiting expectations on my kids.

In the weeks leading up to our Kalahari visit, Charleston started talking to the twins about their interest in riding some of the extreme slides. I told Charleston not to pressure his siblings, especially not Kali who has been pretty fearful and thrill-averse in the past. On our first day at the waterpark, she nearly cried when going down the baby slide (the one that Nico is big enough to slide down by himself). But by the next day she had conquered all of the baby and big-kid slides and was entertaining the idea of riding an extreme slide with me. I was SHOCKED when she said that she wanted to try it and was shocked again when we actually made it up to the top of the slide. She nearly chickened out at the top, but she made it onto the raft and down the slide and loved it! I was utterly floored that she road the slide and then kept on riding—that first slide, as well as the other extreme slides that she was tall enough to go on. I realized that I should not have projected her past fears onto this new adventure and that Charleston was right in ignoring her previous anxieties to encourage her to try something new. (In another surprising turn of events, Sully [who is generally the more adventurous twin] was reluctant to try the big slides and, after eventually giving them a shot, decided they weren’t for him.) The memory of my once-fearful girl having the time of her life on a thrill ride will be with me next time I start to make assumptions about my kids’ preferences and willingness to step into something new.

BONUS LESSON

13. It’s okay to accept and even ask for help.

Back in December Luke told me that he wanted gingerbread cookies for his birthday in February. I had that idea tucked away, but when I realized we would be getting home from Kalahari the night before his birthday, I didn’t know when I’d have time to bake. I decided to ask a friend who has a cookie business if she could help me out, and she knocked it out of the park with the cutest cookies that were superior to anything I could have made. When Luke’s mom asked if I’d like her to take care of Luke’s birthday cake, I said yes to that too. I had other instances this season of getting help—like the church volunteers who mopped up after Nico when he was sick on Christmas Eve, or the fellow AHG moms who helped Kali with her flower bouquet craft while I chased after Nico at our Valentine’s Day party, or Luke voluntarily taking Nico to hang out with him in the office while the other kids and I did school. I honestly hate asking for help: it makes me feel weak and inadequate, and I don’t like to burden others with my responsibilities. The instances of receiving help this season were humbling, but I came through them in a much better place than if I’d attempted to go it alone.

There were a great many more things I learned this winter, and I’m grateful for each and every lesson—those shared here, and those that were too mundane or too personal to exist outside the confines of my private journal. I hope that my moments of reflection have inspired you to take some time to think back on what you have learned this winter. Significant or small, difficult or joyous. . . it’s all worth noticing and commemorating, and if you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear about it!