I think that one of the biggest myths around homeschooling is that homeschool moms spend forty hours per week around a table or engaged in other “educational” activities with our children. I can’t speak for every homeschool family, but in our home this absolutely is not the case!
So what does a homeschool day REALLY entail? Every family is different, but in our home the school day begins at 6:45 with morning prayer, memory work, and a walk. We are home by 7:30 and spend the next few hours on dedicated school time around the table. Our “formal” school day ends at breakfast time, which we eat around 10:00.
That isn’t to say that we don’t do more school throughout the day. Charleston spends several additional hours working on independent schoolwork, and I often need to spend some time helping him with some of those assignments later in the day. We sometimes do family lessons over lunch, and we dedicate thirty minutes each afternoon to DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time. I also do my best to capitalize on other learning opportunities throughout the day, including reading one-on-one with each of the twins. But that’s about it for our official school.
One thing that IS true for us (and likely most homeschool families) is that I am with my kids all day, every day. With the exception of the three hours that the big kids spend at their Homeschool Sports program on Thursdays (an hour of which I spend commuting), I have all four children with me for the entirety of every weekday—whether we are together at home, church, homeschool co-op, the Y (where they DO go to child watch, which gives me a break!), or various other extracurricular (non-drop-off) activities. We spend three meals a day gathered around the table as a family, and we are all together each night for bedtime prayers and devotionals. I have the kids by my side while I tackle household chores and run errands. And they are home for all the time that comes in between!
There is a part of me (the Mom-Guilt part) that would love to say that all of our extra time was spent actively engaged as a whole-family unit. The reality, though, is that this introverted mama needs a little time to herself. I also don’t believe it would be good for any of us for me to act as Full-Time Entertainer for my children. This is something that I’ve always believed but have really needed to accept since Nico joined our family; our tiny human occupies a lot of my time and leaves less of me to be with the big kids during every waking moment.
What this means is that my children spend huge portions of every day entertaining themselves—either independently, or as a group. My children are not allowed to tell me that they are bored (uttering “I’m bored” in my presence immediately earns them an unwelcome chore or assignment) and they are not allowed screen time on the weekdays (and only supervised movies and video games on the weekend), so they are all great at finding ways to occupy themselves. Once their daily chores (and independent schoolwork for Charleston) are complete, my kids love to look at books, play with open-ended toys (Legos, Magna-tiles, Barbies, blocks), do puzzles, play games, listen to Adventures in Odyssey, build forts, and create masterpieces with stickers and paint and other items in their craft kits. When the weather is nice they enjoy being in the backyard, playing on the playground or jumping on the trampoline or digging in the ground.
A lot of the kids’ time is spent just “being kids”—wrestling, chasing each other, playing hide-and-seek or house, telling jokes, and all those other things we kind of forget how to do when we become adults. The twins spend a solid two hours in their room together each afternoon for Quiet Play Time while Charleston does schoolwork and Nico naps, and half the time I have no idea what they are doing. (Even when I check in on the camera in the twins’ room, I cannot grasp the what or how of their twin-coded play!) But they are always laughing and happy and have NEVER ONCE complained about this part of the day.
Because of all this unstructured free time, my children are masters at entertaining themselves—something I have found to be true about nearly every other homeschooled child I know. Our kids don’t need to have lots of extra activities or hand-holding to keep them occupied. They know how to play independently and with kids of other ages. They also know how to go with the flow of the family, and they are aware of the various chores that go into keeping our home running because they see and are part of it all. Our home and family obligations are interconnected, with all of us serving as active contributors and participants.
There are many things that, in an ideal world, would be different about how our family spends our days. I wish that I had the resources and capacity for more field trips, more hands-on activities, more family play time. In God’s kindness, He has allowed us to reap the fruits of not doing things this way: the experiences I am not giving my kids have paved the way for the cultivation of their independence, creativity, resourcefulness, and contentment. That is not to say that families who have fuller schedules and more structure are doing anything wrong; their children will reap plenty of fruit in other areas! Lately, though, I have felt the Lord’s invitation to focus on the blessings of our family’s home life. We are defying the “myth” that my world revolves around schooling my kids, and my children are still flourishing.
God, thank you for the gift of family and for the many ways of living out the blessing of raising and schooling children. You know that I question myself and the way that our household is run. Thank you for allowing me to see the benefits of our particular home life. Please help me to let go of unnecessary expectations around how our family SHOULD be spending time, while also remaining open to any changes you would have us make in our family life. Thank you for equipping me to parent and educate my children to the best of my abilities, and thank you for your protection and grace that covers over my many shortcomings.
This really fascinates me! I mean, I had heard that homeschooling took a fraction of the day that normal schools use, that regular schooling wastes so much time, but wow! That’s amazing! Finished the formal school, at least for the twins, by 10 am!!
I don’t really remember 1st and 2nd grades much, but I know by 3rd grade we had religion first for 45 min (I was at the Catholic school for primary grades, I’m not Catholic now), then Math for 45, then a short recess, then English for 45, then lunch for 30, then History for 45, then a break, then Geography or Science, basically. It took at least 6-7 hours for all that to happen. The teacher was teaching the whole 45 minutes, showing math problems, walking us thru it, having kids come up to the board, giving out quizzes, or in English—Going over grammar rules, or correct usage, or reading lessons, or spelling, etc. For each class, the teacher seemed to be teaching, asking questions, writing stuff on the board, quizzing, or going over homework with us. We weren’t on our own all that much. We didn’t have study halls in grade school. So how do you do it?? Is it like, “If your kid gets it, he gets it, there’s no point in beating a dead horse for 45 min?” Or you focus on what interests him and leave the rest? And obviously, you don’t have to teach to a wide spectrum of students so that you cover everything that both the slowest and the fastest will understand? You can tailor it to them. You don’t have to go slow if they are grasping it. Then I think, oh, the twins are only in first grade? So they basically only have reading, writing and a little math? I have no idea what they teach in the early grades, although I’m sure it encompasses more than that! I have no teacher background, although as a student, my number one aspiration when I grew up was to be a teacher, because I admired them so! But you WERE a teacher, right? So you know how the curriculum compares and what’s it like to teach a few vs. a whole classroom.
I realize that when you are studying one thing (like reading) you can also include, for instance, history! And memorization! And word definitions. And spelling. And writing, if they have to do homework. Kind of all-purpose! I’d like to know more. It’s a fascinating subject!
I also personally hated that school included phys. ed, and sports. My Catholic school did not, they didn’t have a gym or sports fields. I thought that was GREAT! We did enough at home, outside, plus my mother got us swimming lessons and we rode our bikes and roller skated and we hiked, and later, we ice skated and skiied. We always played outside. Anyway, I don’t think phys ed ought to be part of the school day, it takes up WAYYYY too much of their budget, and takes away from more scholarly pursuits. Like educational field trips!
I think I commented on it before, but the kids don’t eat until you are finished? Obviously it works for you guys!, but then why are schools always going on about how Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, that kids need the energy and brain power from breakfast—and schools even PROVIDE breakfast (which is the most outlandish thing I ever heard of—I graduated in 1976, so I’m from the OLD DAYS– , where are their PARENTS??? And why can’t any kid at least 10 yrs old get their own breakfast? ~we did~ And don’t tell me people really don’t have enough food, this country is drowning in food, and there are MULTIPLE ways for poor people to get food. I know, I’m retired and live on social security now. But anyway, that’s a side point (rant).) But, I’m curious about how your kids do it. My stomach would have been growling by at least 8:30, and I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on my schoolwork. But maybe that’s because my stomach was used to eating every day before school. Even so, I thought I’d starve to death between 11 am and lunch.
Oh, also: Do your kids, esp. Charleston, ever say, “I wish I went to “real” school?” Do they miss it? I’m not saying that formal school is “real” school; educating one’s children has changed over the centuries of mankind and there is no one way. But he might call it that.
I love hearing your own experiences, thanks for sharing! I think we get through things a lot quicker because there are fewer distractions, and we don’t have to wait for a whole class to “catch up” to what we are learning. Kali and Sully are only in Kinder, so their “desk” work is very minimal, a lot of what they are learning is not really part of our school day and just part of life (like doing math while we are in the kitchen, or reading signs, or discussing social studies as we encounter those principles, practicing spelling as they make cards for friends during their free time, reading picture books aloud together). Charleston’s work load is definitely heavier but mostly self-taught for him at this point (5th grade). Charleston and Sullivan are very fast learners which helps. Kali needs more time, but also loses stamina quickly so longer lessons are counterproductive for her at this point.
It kind of surprises me that the kids don’t get hungry for breakfast earlier! They often drink milk while we work in the morning and if they do get hungry they can snack on Cheerios or raw nuts before breakfast. Meals are usually at 10:00 for breakfast, 2:00 for lunch, and 6:00 for dinner (except days when we have co-op or are out other places, then it shifts) and they seem to be good with it. It’s so funny, though, on co-op days we eat breakfast at 8 and they are “starving” for lunch by snacktime at 10:30 and tend to eat their lunches then. I’ve started having to pack TONS of extra snacks on those days just to get them to the end of the school day (3:00), funny how the shift in routine really makes them hungry!
The twins don’t really know to ask about real school yet. Charleston is under the impression that school would be like prison and thanks me daily for not “making” him go. I actually think he’d do well in traditional school but am glad he is convinced he has it best! I have a feeling Kali will give the most pushback as they get older since she is my social one, the boys are definitely more introverted plus they have each other, Kali misses being around other girls.
Oh, I loved your answer! It answered all my questions. I didn’t realize the twins were only in Kinder, that explains that! But I’m so sure that they are learning WAY beyond the usual Kinder stuff. My family has always thought the one room schoolhouses were good, because the “littles” got to listen and learn from the older ones’ curriculum. In fact, when i was in second grade, it was combined with first. But since I was in the older grade, that didn’t help me.
About food, I laughed! It’s the old “get the juices flowing” early in the day and then you are hungry all day!! I did always find that once I started eating, I got hungry again within 2-3 hours, especially if it was carb-loaded, like cereal. I didn’t ever go without breakfast as a kid, but as an adult, (often on diets) I have gone without breakfast and I felt surprisingly OK.
AND, I think the milk your kids drink helps. Get them a little hydrated and also, milk has sugars in it that bring their levels up. I have a friend who’s diabetic and when her sugar gets low and she needs to eat something, she says DAIRY is the best, not candy or orange juice as you often hear. Anyway, that seems to work well for you guys!
And hahahaha about Charleston thanking you for not making him go to school!! I suspect he would do well there, too, but hey—long may it last! A prison, that’s so funny. Well, some of them feel like it. And it IS pretty rigid. He sounds like a real self-starter.
Thanks, Kendra. (by the way, do you have any nicknames? Ken? Kenni? Does Luke ever get mixed up with Kendra and Kali?)
I do not have any nicknames, sadly. That was why I gave my kids all long names with many nickname options—I was always sad that I didn’t have one! Nobody has mixed up Kendra/Kali but we mix up Nico and Sully all the time for some reason.
Funny, I was in a combo class in 2nd grade with 3rd graders and it was such a valuable year. Our family has not stopped talking about Understood Betsy and the one-room schoolhouse and the way it is similar to our “you are the grade that you ARE, not the grade that your age says you are” idea.
Well, that’s just really sad you didn’t have a nickname! I think it’s totally possible….if I lived next door, I’d call you “Ken” or “Kendy”. I myself am a Susan and have had ALL the nicknames. I call all my friends nicknames—–Fran is “Francesca”(her name is actually just Frances), Joyce is “Joycie”, Catherine is “Cath”, Julie is “Jules”, Nancy is “Nance”, Laurie is “Lor”, Brenda is “Bren”. I seem to make long names one syllable, and short names longer.
I think that’s kind of revolutionary, about grade ages….people will say, Let’s see, you’re 9, so you must be in 4th grade, as if those ages are stuck solid in the system. Unless you get advanced, or held back, then pretty much, kids ARE the usual ages. How great to advance as you advance and not be held back by age. Of course, in regular public school, you might be at at a disadvantage among other kids much older than you (or in danger, actually!), but with homeschooling, it doesn’t matter. So safe! So nice to have Mama watching over what you learn! I mean, really, it sort of boggles my mind how much most parents give their children over to the teaching, and sometimes beliefs and morality, to a SCHOOL SYSTEM, that may not align with their values! My parents had no clue what we were learning!!