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Tag Archives: Parenting

Doing What’s Mine to Do

Doing What’s Mine to Do

Posted on September 16, 2019 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

If the internet is to be believed, I am utterly failing as a mother. I’m not serving my child homemade, organic foods cut into cute shapes at every meal. We’ve never taken him on a real vacation, let alone visited another country where he would be exposed to different cultures and languages and lifestyles. I don’t concoct elaborate Pinterest-worthy activities to entertain him, we rarely make crafts that involve anything other than paper and some crayons, and I have no clue how to sew a rogue button back onto his dress shirts. I’m not a team mom, or a room mom, or a mom with a demanding day job, or an over-the-top party mom, or even a super chill, go-with-the-flow mom.

I see all of these aspirational “mom types” filling my Instagram feed and plastered across the blogosphere, and occasionally I have an actual Super Mom sighting out in the wild. (Wild being the aisles of HEB where Super Mom—let’s just call her SM—effortlessly navigates a grocery cart piled high with toddlers, while a baby hangs out in the carrier strapped to her stomach, and a well-behaved preschooler walks by her side.) While I certainly admire these SM’s (whether real or Instagram-filter-enhanced), seeing them in action definitely leaves me feeling less than. Less than a good or even adequate mother. . . less than all the other moms. . . less than my own potential.

It’s no surprise, then, that I cling to honest admissions from other mothers who acknowledge their own shortcomings. In her book Introverted Mom (full review to come), Jamie Martin talks about trying to find her footing as a new mom, and the numerous mistakes she made as she attempted to tackle the things she saw other mothers doing with grace and ease.

“It takes a while to figure out who you are . . . as a person now that the lifelong job of raising children has forever altered your identity. We find ourselves mostly through trial and error. The errors don’t mean you’re doing something wrong; they mean you’re one step closer to knowing yourself. Our society has made an idol of getting things done, making that our top cultural priority.”

She’s right! I’ll be the first to admit that when I’m not being productive (especially in all the ways I perceive moms are supposed to be productive), I feel like I’ve let my family down. But Jamie goes on to suggest that, instead of looking to what other parents are doing as our measuring stick for success, we need to ask ourselves, “Am I doing what’s MINE to do?” Answering this simple question will help us focus on what is important without constantly feeling pulled in all directions.

So, what’s mine to do right now? Love my child, delight in him, read with him, care for him while also encouraging independence, and teach him how to love God and others. Support and love my husband, spend time with him each day and work together to lead our family. Serve as a safe and comfortable incubator for the twins, providing them with the nutrition and rest that they need. Keep my house decently clean. Make sure that my fridge and pantry are stocked with healthy foods, and that my family is eating three well-rounded (if not entirely imaginative) meals each day. Spend regular time in God’s Word and in prayer. Occasionally share my words on the internet. That’s it! If I’m checking off all of my personal boxes, I can rest assured that I’m doing enough. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Of course, this is a snapshot of my To-Do list for a very short window of time. Soon, what’s mine to do will look different. Feeding and caring for two newborns will be added to the list; regularly writing online will likely move down to the “icing on the cake” category for a time. My list will continue to change as my children get older and more independent, and again when they leave the nest. Instead of focusing on what I will do then, or on what other moms are doing now, I need only keep my eyes on my own current list.

I believe God stretches and grows us by asking us to do things that feel beyond our bounds of capability—things that He will empower us to tackle. But I also know that He has gifted each of us differently, and that He doesn’t expect any one of us to check all the boxes all the time. He gives each of us the grace to handle what is on our plate RIGHT NOW. And when we give our best to what is in front of us, He is able to use us in unimaginable ways in the lives of our family members, our communities, and beyond.

Filed Under: Baby, Reflections
Nine Things I Learned in July {2019}

Nine Things I Learned in July {2019}

Posted on August 2, 2019 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

I recently heard the Socrates quote, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” and I instantly knew that I had a new life mantra (to add to my vast library of life mantras, ha!). I’ve long held to the belief that regular examination and reflection are key components of intentional, purposeful living. When I take… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Reflections, Uncategorized
Charleston Michael // Half Way to Five!

Charleston Michael // Half Way to Five!

Posted on July 17, 2019 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

It seems like just last week that we celebrated Charleston’s fourth birthday, but here we are, six months later, and as of yesterday my baby is closer to five than four. Our family has had quite a bit of excitement and change within those six months, so it shouldn’t surprise me that my boy has… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Baby, Reflections
June’s Featured Book Review: Parenting the Wholehearted Child

June’s Featured Book Review: Parenting the Wholehearted Child

Posted on June 24, 2019 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

As every mom and dad knows, this parenting business is no easy feat. Being Charleston’s mother is the most wonderful, natural thing I have ever done, but it is also the most difficult. There is SO much about motherhood that is hard, and in my efforts to serve my child well, I often find my… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Book Corner
To Charleston Michael on His Fourth Birthday

To Charleston Michael on His Fourth Birthday

Posted on January 16, 2019 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

Throughout Charleston’s first year, I posted monthly letters to him documenting every change, milestone, and highlight. I still write him monthly letters in the pages of my journal (totally crazy, I know, but I can’t quit it), and each year on his birthday I like to share a public letter to my boy. I know… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Baby
What I Learned in 2018

What I Learned in 2018

Posted on December 29, 2018 by Kendra Jernejcic • 1 Comment

Last year—2017—was a hard year for me. Looking back, I view it as my Great Year of Deconstruction. Belief systems and false idols I’d established for myself came crashing down around me, and I was forced to take a hard look at everything I thought I knew and believed about myself and my world. I… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Reflections
Grace for My Parenting Journey TODAY

Grace for My Parenting Journey TODAY

Posted on November 5, 2018 by Kendra Jernejcic • 1 Comment

When Charleston was just a few months old, we attended a playdate with some older kids, including one child who was two. Let’s call him Jackson. Poor little Jackson was having a rough day. And he wanted us all to know about it. He was defiant, cruel towards the other kids, and engaged in one… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Reflections
Why I Value Reading Aloud

Why I Value Reading Aloud

Posted on October 26, 2018 by Kendra Jernejcic • 1 Comment

“Mom, will you read me a book?” My son utters these words numerous times per day, every day, and though the timing isn’t always right, it’s a request I never tire of hearing and one that I indulge whenever possible. Because I believe that, apart from cultivating Charleston’s relationship with Jesus, reading with him is… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Baby, Book Corner, Reflections
Mom Guilt

Mom Guilt

Posted on October 3, 2018 by Kendra Jernejcic • 1 Comment

Every motherhood journey is different. Some women arrive at motherhood accidentally, others after years of infertility. Women become mothers through birth, adoption, and marriage, via C-section and legal paperwork and natural birth. There are almost always tears, though the ratio of happy to heartbroken varies. And our experiences within our mothering roles are just as… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Baby, Reflections
13 Things I Learned in September {2018}

13 Things I Learned in September {2018}

Posted on October 1, 2018 by Kendra Jernejcic • 0 Comments

I recently heard that the cells in your body replace themselves every seven years; in other words, we are literally different people today than we were seven years ago. It is impossible for us to remain stagnant. I am not someone who is comfortable with change. Even when those changes are positive ones, I recognize the loss… Continue Reading

Filed Under: Reflections
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  • Hi, I’m Kendra! I am a follower of Jesus, an avid reader and podcast-listener, an Enneagram enthusiast, and a big fan of lists. Born and raised in Southern California, I am now living life in Austin, Texas, with my husband Luke, our son Charleston (2015), twins Sullivan and Kalinda (2019), and Arlo the Labradoodle. Thanks for visiting my blog!
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