Dear Nickelson,
I am writing this late at night, with you nursing back to sleep on my lap. It continues to be my best writing spot; I know that you’re cared for and content (and that I won’t be interrupted), and you seem perfectly happy to let me type as long as we are nestled together.
This is our last night at home before we leave for our annual two-week trip to California. We’re driving (it’s over twenty hours on the road!), and I’m a little bit nervous about your first big road trip. But I am so excited for you to visit family members you’ve never met, and to take you to see the state where I grew up. I know you’re a little young to appreciate the beach and the mountains and the sheer beauty of California, but it will be so fun for ME to be there for the first time as a mom of four. It’s strange for me to be raising three native Texans (and a fourth who doesn’t remember another home state), because I will always be a Californian at heart. I hope that our visits will connect you to this piece of your history, and that California will always hold a special place in your heart too.
The last time I stepped foot in California, you were still in my tummy. And speaking of you being in my tummy, we hit a big milestone yesterday when you turned 39 weeks old, which is exactly how long I was pregnant with you! I can’t decide which felt longer—39 weeks of pregnancy, or 39 weeks with you on the outside. (Daddy says 39 weeks with you here has felt longer, but pregnancy obviously wasn’t the same for him as it was for me.) I do know that having you in my arms has been astronomically better than carrying you on the inside. Pregnancy was not my favorite thing (understatement), but it was 1,000% worth the outcome.
I am pretty sure I say this every month, but it really feels like you grew up in the last four weeks! Your starting to sit independently has been such a huge game-changer for our family. We still spend a lot of the day with you in the carrier, but you also spend a lot of time sitting and playing with plastic eggs and board books and rattles. You have your go-to spots: you hang out on your favorite blanket in my room while we get ready in the morning, and in the bassinet on the floor of the kitchen when I’m cooking or cleaning around the house, and sometimes in the living room with the kids, where they get the Duplo Legos out to play. You also like sitting on the floor of the office while Daddy works; he set up your big Fisher Price garage from Grandma and Grandpa and you are fascinated by the toy that is bigger than you! You love being outside and we spend a lot of time sitting on the grass, watching the other kids play.
It’s amazing how much happier you’ve become now that you have some more independence. You still have moments of fussiness, but gone are the days when it seemed like you did nothing but cry all day long. Sometimes you cry because you want my attention, but lately it’s more common for you to get fussy when you want to be on your own for a little bit. This has been our norm for several weeks now, and I am still a little shocked every time I see you playing calmly without crying to be picked up!
One fun milestone we reached this month is that you learned how to clap! We hadn’t been working on that skill with you, but one evening at dinner time you started putting your hands together and you just didn’t stop. Now you get so proud of yourself every time you clap, and we all cheer you on with yays and smiles. You clap at every opportunity—when you’re happy, or bored, and sometimes when you are about to cry and seem unsure of how to respond. . . those hands start clapping even as tears well up in your eyes and a pouty lip starts to cross your face. And on the topic of your face: there is a whole lot going on with that mouth of yours these days! You do an amazing fish interpretation, and you love sticking out your tongue and blowing raspberries. You also babble constantly, and you seem to be getting more intentional with your sounds: I’m pretty sure you understand “mama” when you say it, and you are attempting to copy other words like bear and ball and rattle. Your siblings get so excited for you each time you make a new sound that resembles real words!
We are having a lot of fun with food. You still love your milkies, but you love being spoon-fed too and we have you join us at every meal. After you’ve had your fill of mashed food, you self-feed puff cereal (you learned how to pick them up just this week) or your favorite, Baby Mum-Mums. If you’re not hungry, you still sit with us in your high chair playing with the suction spinning toy the kids have coined sping. You’re a messy eater, but we all enjoy having you as part of our meal times and I think you like it too.
Your love of food is showing in those adorable baby rolls: you are so chubby and I think it is just the cutest! You gained two pounds since your last well check, and your doctor is happy to see you putting on some weight. Unfortunately you are not putting on stature and are not even in the first percentile for height. We’re not overly concerned just yet, but we have an appointment with an endocrinologist scheduled to see if there is some reason that you are not growing. I joked with Daddy that I may need to stop calling you my Little Man since you seem to be taking the title a tad too literally.
Big or small, I positively adore you, my sweet boy. I sure have enjoyed this past month with you—it was my favorite yet! I love watching you learn and grow, and I love that at the end of the day you still want to be snuggled up in my arms. There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you. I’ll love you always and forever, my Little Man!
Love,
Your Adoring Mama
LENGTH: 24.5 inches (<1st percentile)
WEIGHT: 15 pounds 15 ounces (3rd percentile)
DIAPER SIZE: Size 3 Honest Diapers
CLOTHING SIZE: Some 3-6 months, Some 6 months
EYE COLOR: We’ve completely settled into brown, but they’re still fairly light.
HAIR UPDATES: Getting lighter and more sparse by the day! But you have one very long, curly hair at the side of your head that I keep trying to pull off of you because I mistake it for a loose one of mine!
LIKES: Playing with toys (especially rattles and your Fisher Price cars), Baby Mum-Mums, mashed banana.
DISLIKES: Being startled by loud noises, getting into your carseat.
SLEEP HABITS: One short nap in the car or baby carrier in the morning, a long nap with Mama in the afternoons, sleeping in the swing from 8ish until 11:30 (your predictability with this wake time is uncanny!), in bed with Mama and Daddy for the rest of the night (you naturally wake up around 6:30). And you ALWAYS fall asleep in the car, whatever the time.
MILESTONES: Clapping, self-feeding, starting to use pincher grasp, attempting to pull up to standing, more intentional babbling.
OTHER BIG MOMENTS: Your first Easter, MY first Mother’s Day with you in my arms.
SWEET MEMORIES I DON’T WANT TO FORGET: You interrupting family prayer time by blowing a huge raspberry on my leg (it left us all rolling with laughter); your fishy lips when you taste something sour; the way the twins say you are giving them “marry eyes” when you smile contentedly at them; the way you bounce and giggle when the kids are all happy and excited; your quiet fussing as you drift off to sleep, followed by big sighs when you finally go out.
